it's been a long llong time!

let's say you're a HR manager trying to recruit a new officer for one of your company's relatively high position.

and you're given 2 choices on how to assess this new officer.

first, is to spend 3 weeks attempting to be this new officer's good friend, go out shopping, watch movies, play golf and get close to him/her to find more about him/ her.

second, is to just spend 2 to 3 days staying over at his/her house and find out more about his/her habits at home.

which do you think will be more effective?

today is wth day.

wth there's a housefly in my room.
wth that person keep complaining.
wth she got no dining etiquette.
wth why the hell is she so rude.
wth what's tat person's freaking problem.
wth what's wrong with answering properly.
wth stop nagging can.
wth cannot do so much differentiation question.
wth wth how e hell can one ever study finish.
wth wake up so late.
wth studying is boring.
wth wth wth WTH WTH WTH
wth i'm going cranky!

Queen of Spades.
9:27:00 PM

aiysh. spent my first 6 hrs of today in sch trying to mug. one of e few times that i make my own breakfast and eat den take my own sweet time to leave house and was still earlier than daryl. not bad at least can concentrate which is quite good. lost concentration at abt 12 when sy suddenly replied. den my lil sis keep calling me. noob too much time at home. went 18 chef to eat aft tat. and hola we keep changing our minds say wan go botak jones. but in e end thanks to daryl we had 18chef. n wth reach there no seats, tat daryl say 'why not we go eat botak jones'. another noob LOL.

jus some random stuff.
i'm kinda confused as always.
i always call ppl stupid but lol i dun really mean it. it's better than scolding vulgars.
i only scream wtf when i'm ultra angry with some idiots and that was e 1st time i screamed wt bloody f a**hole go bloody eat sh*t shut up and die nonstop for so many times that i lost count.
i tot it was rational for me to do it n i din know i was so that angry but come to think of it i must really be damn angry that time.
i realize i really love my phone not because it is a phone but because it can play lots of songs.
and i suddenly love my comp(i used to loathe it cos of it's speed. din know the comp same breed as me. tortoise speed.)
cos can dl alot of stuff with my new programme that i chanced upon. which i transfer to my phone and i can't live without my phone now.
i'm inspired by kim hyun joong for having experienced so much despite being only 23.
i realize how enclosed my world is. i really don't know what danger is (but much as it's kinda fun to experience danger it's absolutely no joke).
i thought of where i would be in 5 years when i would be 23. no idea. mind blank.
i could be back in school.
or i would be in labs.
or i might be in normal offices.
or the world could have crashed if mayan's doomsday really came 20-12-2012
i might be just at home too.
or if luck gave in i would be in e minds of lots of people.

hahaha 5 years seem short. but half a year would past us by very soon. very.

Queen of Spades.
8:31:00 PM

young seedlings, little kids, or everything new (or young) anywhere are all the same. with lots of love and care, they will grow up strong, outdoing the weeds. without love and care, they become the weeds and get outdone by others. with sufficient care, they'll successfully pass the seedling stage and are able to grow tall and strong and survive in the completely competitive world.

dearies u all are soooo sweet(:

Queen of Spades.
2:30:00 AM

don't get a shock by his appearance; this mysterious guy is super good! as usual, fascinated by the way he plays the violin. he's a japanese and for all we know he's e musician for the animes tat u watch. i like this best, can link to others if u wanna see more:

Queen of Spades.
11:51:00 PM

Found this harp musician on youtube. just fascinated by the way she plays, and the instrument. it's just something about music that you can't find elsewhere. it's just beautiful. :D

Little Nonya theme song


River flows in you


Sundial Dreams


yue liang dai biao wo de xin (moon represents my heart! haha)

Queen of Spades.
9:36:00 PM

damnit. i can't seem to catch up with homework. how i wish it could be last year again, where everything was going on so well, with school work, with council work, with people around me.

then again, withdrawal symptoms like what alot of ppl in council's talking about is sitting in, just tat i'm trying my best to not get these symptoms. the past yr in council felt like a dream. a build up of climax frm e beginning, planning, preparing, executing the events, then came chalet n bbq where it was the climax for me, after that r&e which sort of became a nightmare where i struggled to get myself out of the nightmare, and alot of other things that happened and now i woke up from the dream.

went shopping today, mum bought a face mask and some patch for my pimples. x) mask smells good and surprisingly the patch is transparent! then she bought a white shirt and a jacket for me wheee and we had jacks place for dinner:D aww the steak was juicy and chewy!! was a great day today. :D:D

Queen of Spades.
11:24:00 PM

tested and proven theory: it's easier to do your best for a race when you have someone running the same race with you. it makes a difficult race easier to conquer. :D heee i'm able to say that cos grace ran with me, even though it's just one round, and it was really motivating! so, what's your take when you hear people say that you'll find you life's best friends in jc? theo: you can find best friends anywhere, as long as you 2 click. yup that's so true and i agree. :D it's kind of lonely sometimes to find yourself alone in the race, in the rat race, but as i always say, humans are solitary creatures. it's okay to be alone, right?

and then, it feels quite a relief. to be able to think of a person without thinking too much. that that period is over, and i can face that person with a clear heart. wait, does queen of spades even have a heart?

everytime i listen to the song from one litre of tears, i just wonder what my destiny will be. what will i be in the future? and a question that every individual will ask at some point of time in their life: who am i? what am i doing here? once you get to this question, it's like the opening of a pandora box, there's no turning back. but it's funny if you don't think of this question, cos you're either living too much in your own world, or plainly existing on earth like every other creature. they say that dogs are solitary too, even though they stay in packs. i guess that's why dogs and humans share such a close relationship.

Queen of Spades.
11:35:00 PM

up up up my motivation level is going a little higher whee~! did reasonably okay for chem elearning quiz cos i'm like chu-chu train chiong n msning at e same time! was so scared i did badly tat odh will come after me with 'see me, not enough effort put in' again. mr ong i will put in my very best for my studies frm now, won't allow my grades suffer anymore! yup i know you meant well, but i still feel kinda guilty la, i don't know why but i'm feeling guilty for everything i do. is that something that i caught frm other ppl, for keep feeling guilty for everything that went wrong???

btw, mj-rj match was kewl! mj soccer was really good fazli got a great goal frm more than half field away. so cool sia.

anyways, chem spa on wed. all e best to e choir ppl tmr, n band n co ppl on wed!

yup still feels as if i'm in council although i've already stepped down. our last task is to make sure those 2 wild horses handle their committee well. wheee it's so owentanish but still think i've got a great idea to tackle the wild horses. well but great ideas seldom come to pass argh.

my greatest friends in council: shiyeng (mari loh, good for fish and co.) theo (the dodo (ops!) )daryl t(he king hearts king spades mutant) for now yeng is still uncatogorized for the picture cards.

~there are flies flying around me yuks~!

Queen of Spades.
11:50:00 PM

A pencil answered some of my questions.

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked: 'are you writing a story about what we've done? is it a story about me?'
his grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: 'i am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil i'm using. i hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.'
intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil; it didn't seem very special.
'but it's just like any other pencil i've ever seen!'
'that depends on how you look at things. it has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.
'first quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. we call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.
'second quality: now and then, i have to stop writing and use a sharpener. that makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. so you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
'third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. this means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.
'fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. so always pay attention to what is happening inside you.
'finally, the pencil's fifth quality: it always leave a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.'

extracted from Like a Flowing River, Paulo Coelho.

and i think i really busted the second chance. something strong in me tells me so. i don't know what's wrong yet, i guess i somehow know, but yet not that clear. i really don't know how to handle the situation now, should just go with the flow. if you would, tell me what's wrong! haiz. it feels weird to be alone, yet it's quite comfortable, and uncomfortable. comfortable from the peace i get when i'm alone, uncomfortable from the stares when i'm alone. humans are solitary creatures, period.

Queen of Spades.
12:34:00 AM